Nice jokes

At a bar, a hot guy approaches a girl: "Exuse me, but i think you
owe me a drink."The girl blushing says "Oh really? " The guy says " You're so F...ing ugly, when i saw you, i dropped mine ".
 
Blond van Brakpan aan vriendin in kar: Ek dink die kinders in die kar langsaan is disleksies . Hulle het op die wasem van die karruit geskyf
"eteit uoj sno syW"
 
A man was dying of cancer. His son asked him: dad why do you keep on telling everyone that you’re dying of AIDS. He replied: “So that when I die no 1 will touch ur mom”
 
Q. - How do you know when you are Stoned?
A. - When you are too phoned to stone home.

carback.jpg


My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
 
Condom Factory burns down in Australia!!!!

Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

”Kevin, it’s the health Minister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!!! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Sydney has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Australian supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week!”

PM: “SHIT!!! - the economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!!”

Health Minister: “We're going to have to ship some in from....Britain?”

PM: “No chance!! The Poms will have a field day on this one!!”

Health Minister: “What about South Africa?”

PM: “I'll call SA - tell them we need ten million condoms; ten inches long and eight inches thick!! That way they'll continue to respect the wallabies!”

Three days later a delighted Kevin rushes out to open the boxes.
He finds ten million condoms, 10 inches long, 8 inches thick, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one...

MADE IN South Africa
SIZE: Smal
 
mandarin said:
Condom Factory burns down in Australia!!!!

Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

”Kevin, it’s the health Minister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!!! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Sydney has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Australian supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week!”

PM: “SHIT!!! - the economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!!”

Health Minister: “We're going to have to ship some in from....Britain?”

PM: “No chance!! The Poms will have a field day on this one!!”

Health Minister: “What about South Africa?”

PM: “I'll call SA - tell them we need ten million condoms; ten inches long and eight inches thick!! That way they'll continue to respect the wallabies!”

Three days later a delighted Kevin rushes out to open the boxes.
He finds ten million condoms, 10 inches long, 8 inches thick, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one...

MADE IN South Africa
SIZE: Smal
Click to expand...

:lol::lol:
 
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
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