Krisjan pulls into a service station in his battered bakkie, Clad in tattered khakis, velskoene, whiskers and ragged hat. He Hands the attendant the keys complete with a beautiful Vierkleur flag.
Krisjan: "Goeie more. Maak vol met Super, asseblief." (Good morning. Fill up with super please)
Attendant: "How much?"
Krisjan: "Vol asseblief." (Full please)
Attendant: "I only speak the English!"
Krisjan: "Noooo problem.... Good day to you, Sir. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propellant of my motorized vehicle. Therefore, i cordially request you to transfer, from your subterranean reservoir, a sufficient quantity of combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim."
Attendant: "Hau?"
Krisjan: "Do you have a problem, Sir? I thought you said you spoke English?"
Attendant: "English.....that, she is not English!"
Krisjan: "My dear Sir, are you veritably attempting to insinuate that you do not even recognize the language which you allege to be your singular means of communication?"
Attendant: "Hau?"
Krisjan: "Let me attempt to elucidate in the most elementary terms; your paltry grasp of the English vernacular is frittering away the time at my disposal or as I would put it, in a more civilized intelligible language......
Dit is fo**en duidelik dat jy FO**OL van Engels weet. So, kry jou slapgat in rat en maak hierdie bliksemse kar se tank vol voordat ek hier uitklim en jou sommer moer, want jy mors my donnerse tyd!!!! (It is clear that you know nothing about English. Get your lazy backside in gear and fill this car up before I get out and hit you because you're wasting my bloody time - expletives left out)
Verstaan jy nou?!! (Do you understand now)
Attendant: "Ja Meneer. Vol Meneer? Afrikaans is beter Meneer". (Yes sir, full sir? Afrikaans is better sir).
Krisjan: "Dankie!" (Thank you)
Krisjan: "Goeie more. Maak vol met Super, asseblief." (Good morning. Fill up with super please)
Attendant: "How much?"
Krisjan: "Vol asseblief." (Full please)
Attendant: "I only speak the English!"
Krisjan: "Noooo problem.... Good day to you, Sir. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propellant of my motorized vehicle. Therefore, i cordially request you to transfer, from your subterranean reservoir, a sufficient quantity of combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim."
Attendant: "Hau?"
Krisjan: "Do you have a problem, Sir? I thought you said you spoke English?"
Attendant: "English.....that, she is not English!"
Krisjan: "My dear Sir, are you veritably attempting to insinuate that you do not even recognize the language which you allege to be your singular means of communication?"
Attendant: "Hau?"
Krisjan: "Let me attempt to elucidate in the most elementary terms; your paltry grasp of the English vernacular is frittering away the time at my disposal or as I would put it, in a more civilized intelligible language......
Dit is fo**en duidelik dat jy FO**OL van Engels weet. So, kry jou slapgat in rat en maak hierdie bliksemse kar se tank vol voordat ek hier uitklim en jou sommer moer, want jy mors my donnerse tyd!!!! (It is clear that you know nothing about English. Get your lazy backside in gear and fill this car up before I get out and hit you because you're wasting my bloody time - expletives left out)
Verstaan jy nou?!! (Do you understand now)
Attendant: "Ja Meneer. Vol Meneer? Afrikaans is beter Meneer". (Yes sir, full sir? Afrikaans is better sir).
Krisjan: "Dankie!" (Thank you)
till i rolled the tyres UPhill all the way home