Woman *lol*

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Singularity, 19 Jul 2010.

  1. Singularity

    Singularity Hmmm amper!

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  3. Singularity

    Singularity Thread Starter Hmmm amper!

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    Last edited: 19 Jul 2010
  4. Slagter

    Slagter MASA Contributor

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    LMFAO!! You're gonna get into trouble dude... :whistling:
     
  5. Singularity

    Singularity Thread Starter Hmmm amper!

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    One more :p

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  6. chikaboo

    chikaboo

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    After walking along a beach one day a guy finds a bottle and opened it ...... Out popped a genie and said : For setting me free I will grant you a wish ... Only one wish ... Anything and I will grant it ... The chap thought for a moment said He loved to travel the world but was scared of flying and sailing but he trusted his driving so if the Genie could make road that went all around the world he would be happy .... The genie said that was a very hard request and required lots of planning and permission from the different countries and what about the materials and labourers to get this mamoth task done and isn't there something else this man wanted ... So the chap thought and said he would like to understand women ..... The genies response was "This road we talking about .... Would you like it to be a single or double lane?"
     
  7. leslie hempel

    leslie hempel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    my contribution

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  8. Andreas

    Andreas

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    :lol::lol::lol:

    It was long overdue for me to buy a couple of new appliances:p
     
  9. LuckyFish

    LuckyFish MASA Contributor

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    Hehe, I know the same joke in German. Amazing how the same jokes gets told in different languages.
     
  10. Singularity

    Singularity Thread Starter Hmmm amper!

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    Maybe we should change the titel of the thread to appliances.
     
  11. seank

    seank

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    y is the women who wrote this not in the kitchen?? its a disgrace!!!

    What do you tell a women with 2 black eyes???

    Nothin, somebody's already told her twice :)
     
  12. seank

    seank

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    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
     
  13. seank

    seank

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    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

    What happens when the lights go out in the kitchen?
    Women cook in the dark.
     
  14. seank

    seank

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    Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told.
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    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called wedding cake.
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    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
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    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
     
  15. seank

    seank

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    What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

    Divorced.


    Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
    The one guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E... you know, Young Urban Professional Payed In Experience."
    The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K... you know, Double Income No Kids."
    They asked the woman, "What are you?" She replied:
    "I'm a W.I.F.E...you know, Wash, Iron, F*$k, Etc."
     
  16. Anemone

    Anemone

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    Good to see all of you men sticking together.

    I agree, all women should quit their jobs TODAY and let the men in their lives support them while they stay in the kitchen. :thumbup:
     
  17. seank

    seank

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    :lol: Anemone. Agreed. My wife is worth more to me at home than at work. I'd be lost without her
     
  18. Keanan

    Keanan 2time

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    I'll take all.:biggrin:
     
  19. RiaanP

    RiaanP Moderator

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    What should you do, if your woman comes out the kitchen and starts moaning at you in the lounge?

    Make the chain shorter.
     
  20. mandarin

    mandarin

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    Gatiep sit in sy garage waar hy die laaste goed moet ontruim en bepeins sy lot.
    Hy't sy huis verloor, sy werk verloor en sy vrou het die kinders gevat en hom geskei
    Hy sien 'n kas met wynbottels en loop soontoe.
    Hy vat 'n emty bottel, smyt dit teen die muur en skel:'Djy issie reason lat ekkie 'n vrou hettie!'
    Hy vat 'n tweede bottel:'Djy issie reason lat ekkie 'n job hettie!'
    Derde bottel: 'Djy issie reason lat ekkie 'n huis hettie!'
    Vierde bottel: 'Djy issie reason lat ekkie kinders hettie!'
    Vyfde bottel: En is nog nie oopgemaak nie - vol wyn.
    Hy sit die bottel saggies neer - 'Sta djy eenkant toe, my broe. Ek sie djy wassie involved ni'
     
  21. leslie hempel

    leslie hempel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    ha ha some classic ones guys :) and good chirp lady...
     
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