Very Brave Men Jokes

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[FONT=&quot]*How do you turn a fox into an elephant? *
*Marry it ! *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*What is the difference between a battery and a woman? *
*A battery has a positive side. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*How are fat girls and mopeds alike? *
*They're both fun to ride until your friends find out. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*What should you give a woman who has everything? *
*A man to show her how to work it. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? *
*Put a nipple on it. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? *
*Because they don't have balls to scratch. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Why do women fake orgasms ? *
*Because they think men care. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? *
*Nothing, she's been told twice already. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? *
*Made her chain too long *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*How many men does it take to open a beer? *
*None. It should be opened when she brings it. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? *
*Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Why do women have smaller feet than men? *
*It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? *
*When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...' *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*How do you fix a woman's watch? *
*You don't. There is a clock on the oven. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Why do men pass gas more than women? *
*Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? *
*The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? *
*A woman who won't do what she's told *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*I married a Miss Right. *
*I just didn't know her first name was Always. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. *
*It's called a Wedding Cake. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Why do men die before their wives? *
*They want to. *
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[/FONT][FONT=&quot]*Women will never be equal to men... *
*until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. *[/FONT]




[FONT=&quot]*In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. *
*Then God created Man and rested. *
*Then God created Woman.*
*Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.[/FONT]
 

Mike

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Dear Mrs Warr,
I just wondered if you would be interested in some of your husbands new ideas.........................;)
 
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hmmm mr and mrs are comming round for a three course meal tonight. butternut and coconut soup, roast lamb and self saucing chocolate spunges. i think i will print this thread, you know just as a talking point:)
 

Mike

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hmmm mr and mrs are comming round for a three course meal tonight. butternut and coconut soup, roast lamb and self saucing chocolate spunges. i think i will print this thread, you know just as a talking point:)
A written report and video/picture evidence of your untimely death would be interesting.:)
 

Kanga

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Hey Warr thanks for the better living guidelines:peroni:
 

Kanga

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Welcome back Reaper we missed you man
 

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