THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2007

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Kanga, 14 Feb 2008.

  1. Kanga

    Kanga Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    THE BEST COMEBACK LINE for 2007

    For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an
    "Australian treasure!"

    General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his
    reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
    Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one
    of the best comeback lines of all time.

    It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and
    General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his
    military headquarters.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

    So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys
    when they visit your base?

    GENERAL COSGROVE:

    We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

    Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

    GENERAL COSGROVE:

    I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

    Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching
    children?

    GENERAL COSGROVE:

    I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before
    they even touch a firearm.

    FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

    But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

    GENERAL COSGROVE:

    Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

    The radio went silent and the interview ended.
     
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  3. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.

    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an
    earring.
    This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is
    curious
    about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.'

    The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn't know you were into earrings.'

    'Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring, 'he replies sheepishly.

    His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods
    him to say, 'So,
    how long have you been wearing one?'

    'Ever since my wife found it in my car.'
     
  4. Alfie

    Alfie

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  5. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    By the logic of the second joke, I hope I never have to wear a frilly G string (size-small):whistling:
     
  6. Alfie

    Alfie

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    LOL The thought, NOOOOOOO
     
  7. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he
    notices a little
    girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders
    hung on the side and a
    garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

    The
    little girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the cart tied to a dog
    and a
    cat. The fire-fighter walks over to take a closer look: "That's a lovely fire
    engine,' he says admiringly.


    'Thanks,' says the little girl.


    The fireman looks closer and notices the little girl has tied one of the
    cart's strings to the
    dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.


    'Little colleague,' says the fire-fighter, 'I don't want to tell you how
    to run your fire engine,
    but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's
    collar, I think you could
    probably go a lot faster.'

    The little girl
    pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then
    shyly

    looks into the fireman's eyes and says:

    'You're probably right, but
    then I wouldn't have a freakin siren, would I?'
     
  8. Alfie

    Alfie

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    :lol: :lol:
     
  9. Shaun

    Shaun Retired Moderator

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  10. jacquesb

    jacquesb Retired Moderator

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    BRILLIANT!! Absolutely Brilliant!
     
  11. Warr7207

    Warr7207

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    funny stuff :lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
  12. Mike

    Mike Retired Moderator

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    Good stuff kanga
     
  13. mandarinman

    mandarinman

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    these are the best!!!!!!!!!!!more......more.......lol
     
  14. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    N-O-W, You Know Why !!!!!

    [​IMG]

    When a woman wears a leather dress,
    A man's heart beats quicker,
    And his throat gets dry,
    He goes weak in the knees,
    And he begins to think irrationally.
    Ever wonder why?





    scroll down










    Because she smells like a new
    bakkie
     
  15. DragonReef

    DragonReef

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Bakkie = Pick up truck for our overseas friends.
     
  16. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    Poor guy
    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a
    house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl
    to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes
    into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

    "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably
    spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he
    kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do
    whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
    This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be
    strong, honey. I love you."

    To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering
    in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if
    we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I
    love you too!!"
     
  17. Mike

    Mike Retired Moderator

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    erm, you guys need to get out more:whistling:
     
  18. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her
    five-year-old
    son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
    She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you
    b*astards who
    want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop!
    And all of you b*astards who are getting on, get you're a*ss
    in the
    traincause we're going down the tracks."
    The Mother walked into the room where her son was playing and
    said "we
    don't use that kind of language in this house.
    Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO
    HOURS.
    When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want
    you to
    use nice language."
    Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed
    playing with
    his train.
    Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All
    passengers
    who

    are disembarking the train, please
    remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you
    for
    travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant
    one." She
    hears the little boy continue,
    "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to store all of
    your hand
    luggage under your seat. Remember, there is
    no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant
    and
    relaxing
    journey with us today."
    As the mother began to smile, the child added,
    "For those of you who are p!ssed off about the TWO HOUR delay,
    please
    direct your complaints to the fat b!tch in the kitchen."
     
  19. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. Kanga

    Kanga Thread Starter Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded
    that I take her out to some place expensive...................


    So I took her to a petrol station!!!!!!!
     
  21. Mike

    Mike Retired Moderator

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    Just remember your good lady has access to this forum;)
     
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