Only for Brave Men

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Quintonv, 7 Apr 2011.

  1. Quintonv

    Quintonv

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    Location:
    Centurion
    •How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

    Marry her!


    •What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

    A battery has a positive side.


    •What are the three fastest means of communication?

    1) Television
    2) Telephone
    3) Telawoman


    •What should you give a woman who has everything?

    A man to show her how to work it.


    •What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

    Nothing, she's been told twice already.


    •If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?

    Made her chain too long.


    •How many men does it take to open a can?

    None. It should be opened when she brings it.


    •Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.


    •Why do women have smaller feet than men?

    It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


    •How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

    When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'


    •How do you fix a woman's watch?

    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


    •Why do men pass gas more than women?

    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.


    •If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


    •What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

    A woman who won't do what she's told!


    •I married my 'Miss Right'

    I just didn't know her first name was Always!


    •Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90% ...

    it's called a Wedding Cake.


    •Why do men die before their wives?

    They want to!
     
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  3. seank

    seank

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    North of Durban and South of Mozambique
    :lol: Old classics- just do not show your mrs, else you sleep on the couch:thumbup:
     
  4. ziyaadb

    ziyaadb

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    hahahah 1st time for me sean
     
  5. RiaanP

    RiaanP Moderator

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    Why is a wedding dress white...
    To match the other kitchen appliances.

    What is the difference between a dog and your wife.
    Lock both in your car boot for an hour and see who is happy when you open it up.
     
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