One for the Guys

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chikaboo, 14 Mar 2009.

  1. chikaboo

    chikaboo

    Joined:
    2 Jan 2009
    Posts:
    4,980
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Newcastle - KZN
    The Guys' Rules*******************
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    We always hear
    " the rules "
    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side .
    These are
    OUR rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "
    1"
    ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1.. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem
    only if you want help solving it.. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
    Problem.
    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
    don'tExpect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant THE OTHER ONE.

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did
    NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
    A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it
    will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
    Really .1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as rugby , cars,
    or
    golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    and Please
    Pass this to as many women as you can
     
  2. AdS Guest




    to hide all adverts.
  3. FransSny

    FransSny

    Joined:
    16 Oct 2008
    Posts:
    5,697
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Hermanus
    WELL SAID CHIKA:thumbup:
     
  4. Mike

    Mike Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    12 May 2007
    Posts:
    7,859
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    the Motherland
    Excellent stuff, now which or you have the cahoonas to show this to your other halves:whistling:
     
  5. scubaninja

    scubaninja

    Joined:
    20 Jul 2008
    Posts:
    6,739
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Durban
    funny stuff. but its been posted before:whistling:
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
  6. lIghty

    lIghty

    Joined:
    3 Nov 2007
    Posts:
    5,053
    Likes Received:
    52
    Location:
    Westville, Durban
    damn good!
     
  7. crispin

    crispin

    Joined:
    22 Jan 2008
    Posts:
    12,223
    Likes Received:
    160
    Location:
    Lilliehammer, Norway
    very good.

    should i be the guinnie pig who prints and posts this on the fridge? i am tankless at the moment afterall so she cant do anything that will REALLY hurt anyway! :)
     
  8. goodisor

    goodisor

    Joined:
    9 Feb 2008
    Posts:
    1,062
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Empangeni
    Not a good argument this one......Good old Christopher Columbus set out for India and landed in America....He thought he had reached his destination and so named the first native he saw an Indian...Hence everyone calls the native Americans,Indians.......:pSorry,but its better that a man tells you this rather than a lady;):whistling:
     
  9. crispin

    crispin

    Joined:
    22 Jan 2008
    Posts:
    12,223
    Likes Received:
    160
    Location:
    Lilliehammer, Norway
    goodisor, has that one backfired on you before perhaps?
     
  10. goodisor

    goodisor

    Joined:
    9 Feb 2008
    Posts:
    1,062
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Empangeni
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:........How else would I know such a thing:p
     
  11. dallasg

    dallasg Moderator MASA Contributor

    Joined:
    14 Dec 2008
    Posts:
    16,771
    Likes Received:
    582
    Location:
    Sandton
    Haha, god took a rib from us,"man", and what did he create...



    A foghorn :)
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
Recent Posts

Loading...
Similar Threads - Guys Forum Date
hi guys New Members 7 May 2016
Hi Guys...Please assist in identifying... Soft Corals 11 Sep 2015
Hi guys New Members 12 Jun 2015
Maxspect gyre in stock guys. Remember to buy quick stocks are limited. JungleAquatics.NET BLOG 26 May 2015
GUESS WHAT GUYS AND GALS!!!!!!!. ZEO IS HERE!!!!!!! Zeo party in my tank tonight... JungleAquatics.NET BLOG 16 Apr 2015
ID these guys please ID Needed 22 Mar 2015
Hey everyone. I have yet another amazing Red Sea Max S-650 for you guys. Form an... JungleAquatics.NET BLOG 19 Mar 2015