Not so dumb blonde


Retired Moderator
12 May 2007
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the Motherland
A Blonde died and arrived at the Pearly Gates to be met by St Peter.
“I’m sorry” St Peter said; “But heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to set up an entrance exam for new arrivals and only those that pass may enter.”

“That’s cool” said the blonde, “What does it consist of?”

“Just three questions, but you must correctly answer all three” said St Peter.
“The first is which two days of the week start with the letter T?”
“The second is how many seconds are there in one year?”
“And the third is what is the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?”

“Now, go away and think carefully of your answers and when I call upon you, you have just one chance to get them right”

So the blonde went off to ponder the questions, and 1 hour later St Peter called her back to hear her answers.

“Now my dear do you have answers for me?” Asked St Peter expecting to be told no

“Yes indeed no problem at all” the blonde replied.

Taken aback St Peter asked “so what is your answer to the first question, how many days of the week start with the letter T?”

The blonde replied “Today and Tomorrow”

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that the answer could indeed be applied to the question.

“Well then, could I have your answer to the second question” St Peter went on “How many seconds are there in a year?”

“Twelve” was the blondes reply.
“Only twelve? How did you arrive at that figure” asked a puzzled St Peter.

“Easy” she replied “there’s the second of January, the second of February right through to the second of December so that’s twelve seconds.”

A perplexed St Peter said he would need sometime to consider this answer and off he went shaking his head a while later he returned and said “I will allow that answer to stand, but you must answer the third question absolutely correctly to get into Heaven,
So what is the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?” He knew he had her now as there was no name mentioned in the song.

“Oh that was the easiest” said the blonde “it’s Andy”

“Andy?” Exclaimed the totally floored St Peter, he deliberated this way and that but could not think of any way she could have come up with this answer.
“How on earth did you come to that answer?” he asked.

“Well it’s obvious” said the blonde “Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled…….”

And so the blonde entered Heaven.
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