mekaeel,dont talk to parrots!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by crispin, 20 Feb 2009.

  1. crispin

    crispin

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    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.'

    Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you.



    But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!'



    'I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!'

    When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

    The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

    Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, 'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!'

    To which the parrot replied,'Get him Spike!' ​
     
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  3. Andreas

    Andreas

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    :lol:Good one
     
  4. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    :lol:
    Got a bit of a shock when I saw my name there :lol:
     
  5. crispin

    crispin Thread Starter

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    lol:) having seen that grey thing in the corner i assumed it got most of its gibberish talk from you! :)
     
  6. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    That bird hates me and i hate it :p
    I miss my old one that flew away :( He use to kiss me, this one almost take off my lip :p
     
  7. crispin

    crispin Thread Starter

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    oh, so its a clever one then?
     
  8. crispin

    crispin Thread Starter

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    i have another parrot joke i'll see if i can find it or write it out, its one of my favorites:)
     
  9. JD167

    JD167

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    Brilliant! :)
     
  10. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    No, he is stupid, because he is stepping on my toes :p
     
  11. crispin

    crispin Thread Starter

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    An 80 year old lady regrettably passed on. In her will she asked for her companion of 43 years, and African grey, to please be left to a loving caring home, free of charge.

    So the pet shop puts the cage outside and a sign on, saying, “free to a good home”.

    But it doesn’t go well. The bird is the devils only pet. It screams, swears like a trouper and actually thinks of personal insults for the customers coming into the shop. One day a guy walks in and the parrot goes off the trails at him. He is rather taken aback and asks what’s up with the bird. The shop owner nearly cries saying his business is suffering and he cant give it away. Ina fit of madness the guy says he will take the bird, he likes a challenge.

    It doesn’t go so well. The parrot is real sweet to the kids and wife but really knows how to get under his skin. Then his mother in law visits and the old lady’s nice sweet old bird goes to town. It insults everything about the mother in law, from shoes to smelly breath, eventually reducing the poor woman to tears and she leave!

    The guy takes courses in parrot behavior and control, nothing works.


    Due to the current economic melt down he has a really tough day at work and gets fired. Comes home early and the parrots waiting, one comment about his skew tie and the fact that no one will hire him again and the feel flips, grabs the parrot by the neck and flings it into the freezer compartment of the fridge. There’s banging and cursing, flapping and general mayhem from inside and then absolute silence. The guy waits a little and then starts feeling very guilty, after all flinging a parrot into a freezer isn’t very nice and the bird might have hurt itself will all the banging.

    Slowly, oh so slowly he opens the door. The parrot looks one eyed at him and says…”before I start my life as a good parrot and stop my atrocious behavior,


    Wont you tell me what the chicken did!”
     
  12. keyaam

    keyaam

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    lol
     
  13. keyaam

    keyaam

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    Its sad to see birds fly away mek. Happened to me a few times. I actually miss having birds. They fun to have but unfortunately my other half cant stand them so i had to leave my one with the parents when we got married. Now when we visit he, goes absolutely nuts. I think his pissed!!
     
  14. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    This birds hates me and everyone else at home. But when my dad comes and visits, he is all excited and jumping all over the cage. Hopefully he will adopt it.
     
  15. JD167

    JD167

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    That's why I love fish. They don't talk back, scream or try and take your finger off.:)
     
  16. scubaninja

    scubaninja

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    speak for yourself, my trigger tries daily:p
     
  17. kalkwasser

    kalkwasser

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    That was funny
     
  18. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    :stupid:
     
  19. scubaninja

    scubaninja

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    yeah, my trigger isnt as bad as yours though, i've got him eating nori out of my hand:biggrin:
     
  20. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    hehe....So does mines. Except ive got to fingers a fe mm out of the water.lol.
     
  21. scubaninja

    scubaninja

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    ah common!!! no point in swimming with great whites of you are going in a cage!!!lol
     
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