Tobes
Retired Moderator
Marriage (Part l)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want
and Idon'texpect any hassle from you. I expect a greatdinner to be on table
unless I tell you that I won't be home fordinner.I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing
and card-playing when I want with myold buddies
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want
and Idon'texpect any hassle from you. I expect a greatdinner to be on table
unless I tell you that I won't be home fordinner.I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing
and card-playing when I want with myold buddies
and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand thatthere
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand thatthere
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night..........whether you'rehere or not."
(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th weddinganniversary!
(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
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Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th weddinganniversary!
The husbandyells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone thatreads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone thatreads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfasttable.
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone thatreads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfasttable.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bedeither,"
and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty
and decides to make amendsandrings her up. She comes to the phone
and decides to make amendsandrings her up. She comes to the phone
after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
"what took you so long to answer thephone?"
She says, "I was in bed.."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
"Mother of
Six" in spite of her objections.One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it's time to go
homeand wants to find out if
his wife is ready to
leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home
'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts rightback,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts rightback,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly,the man realized
that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first
to break the silence (and LOSE), he wroteona piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where heknewshe would find it.
to break the silence (and LOSE), he wroteona piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where heknewshe would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM andhe had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why
hiswife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
only to discover it was 9:00 AM andhe had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why
hiswife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said,
"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
