Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by viper357, 2 Jun 2009.

  1. viper357

    viper357 Admin MASA Contributor

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    Celibacy
    Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling, take celibacy.

    This can be a choice in life, or a condition, sometimes temporarily imposed or otherwise by environmental or other factors.

    While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Robert and Mary listened to the instructor declare "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

    He addressed the men. "Can you each name and describe your wife's favourite flower?"

    Robert leaned over, touched Mary's arm gently and whispered, "Self raising, isn't it?"

    Thus began Robert's extended period of celibacy.
     
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  3. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    Eyewitness

    A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money.
    Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked,
    "Did you see me rob this bank?"
    The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
    The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
    He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,
    "Did you see me rob this bank?"
    The man replied, "No sir, but my wife did.".
     
  4. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    Love thy neighbour

    [​IMG]
     
  7. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  11. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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  12. viper357

    viper357 Thread Starter Admin MASA Contributor

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  13. ben lloyd

    ben lloyd

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    kzn dundee
    :thumbup::lol:
     
  14. Mike

    Mike Retired Moderator

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    good ones:)
     
  15. crispin

    crispin

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    joke 2 is a corker :)
     
  16. seank

    seank

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    Believe me if I say I can relate to this.... more than once, unfortunately the Wimpy and Spur has never been my favorite- because of service,(hence me not going there for a number of years) but I always left a tip for the use of the Tomato sauce and Mustard:whistling:
     
  17. jacquesb

    jacquesb Retired Moderator

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  18. FransSny

    FransSny

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    Job hunting

    be carefull when you read the job adds in the paper

    Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

    COMPETITIVE SALARY:
    We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    FLEXIBLE HOURS:
    Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

    GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
    Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.

    ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
    You whine, you're fired.

    CAREER-MINDED:
    We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

    SELF-MOTIVATED:
    Management won't answer questions

    SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
    Some time each night and some time each weekend

    DUTIES WILL VARY:
    Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
    We have a lot of turnover.

    SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
    We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

    CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
    We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

    SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
    If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

    SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
    You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

    PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
    You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
     
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