For the women on the forum

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by lappiesreef, 25 Jul 2008.

  1. lappiesreef

    lappiesreef

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    The Why's of Men
    1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
    (because they are plugged into a genius)



    2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
    (they don't have enough time)



    3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
    (they don't stop to ask directions)


    4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
    (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


    (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)



    5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
    (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties
    )



    6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
    (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)




    7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
    (don't
    know, it never happened)

    ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)




    And the personal favorite:



    8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
    (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)


    Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
    and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour **** !


    One for the ladies




    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt
    . Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
    'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
    He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'

    And they say blondes are dumb...

    -----------------------------------------------



    A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
    'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
    The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'




    It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower
    . ' Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
    'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.



    -----------------------------------------------





    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor



    -----------------------------------------------------------


    -

    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
    -----------------------------------------------



    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.


    -----------------------------------------------------------



    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.
     
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  3. viper357

    viper357 Admin MASA Contributor

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    That was nasty :lol:
     
  4. Shaun

    Shaun Retired Moderator

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    This is out of the User Agreement.

    I think we ban him.;)
     
  5. lappiesreef

    lappiesreef Thread Starter

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    Maybe I should have added this disclaimer:
    "Send this to bright, funny women you know and make their day!
    And send this to bright men who
    have enough sense of humor to take it! "

    :whistling:
     
  6. Andreas

    Andreas

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    good idea:slayer:


    very good though!:lol:
     
  7. Shaun

    Shaun Retired Moderator

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    :lol::lol::lol:

    It is good to start the day with a joke.
     
  8. Kanga

    Kanga Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

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    :rofl: that is rather good
     
  9. Hill

    Hill

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    Hey Kanga, good to see you back.

    Where have you been? Building a bomb shelter, now that you are living near Koeberg? You know there are monkeys looking after that thing these days... :lol:

    If your bottles of beer start looking green then you better get into that shelter, the radiation levels are getting too high.
     
  10. ben lloyd

    ben lloyd

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    speaking of koeberg its broken (al weer):(
     
  11. Hill

    Hill

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    I am not surprised.
     
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