English school answering machine

Discussion in 'The Sump' started by Mike, 11 Oct 2007.

  1. Mike

    Mike Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    12 May 2007
    Posts:
    7,859
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    the Motherland
    SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

    This is the message that apparently a Secondary School staff in the Midlands
    voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

    This is the actual answering machine message for the school. It came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and Parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

    The school and teachers are now being threatened with legal action by some parents who want their children's failing marks changed to passing marks - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the term and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their various key stages.

    *********************The outgoing message:***************************

    "Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.

    In order to assist you in connecting to the right member of
    staff, please listen to all the options before making a selection:


    * To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

    * To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work - Press 2

    * To complain about what we do - Press 3

    * To swear at staff members - Press 4

    * To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your Newsletter and several letters posted to you - Press 5

    * If you want us to bring up your child - Press 6

    * If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

    * To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

    * To complain about bus transport - Press 9

    * To complain about school lunches - Press 0

    LASTLY:

    If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
    accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a really wonderful day!

    If you want this in other languages, you must be in the wrong country.

    This is England, now piss off.
     
  2. AdS Guest




    to hide all adverts.
  3. Galibore

    Galibore Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    6 May 2007
    Posts:
    2,829
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Germiston
    :rofl:

    They could be sued for that message as well!
     
  4. viper357

    viper357 Admin MASA Contributor

    Joined:
    4 May 2007
    Posts:
    27,982
    Likes Received:
    777
    :lol: that reminds me of that song by Lady Sovereign :rofl:
     
  5. Kanga

    Kanga Retired Moderator MASA Contributor

    Joined:
    7 May 2007
    Posts:
    4,576
    Likes Received:
    23
    Location:
    In the Koeberg blast radius
    brilliant
     
  6. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

    Joined:
    8 May 2007
    Posts:
    24,229
    Likes Received:
    127
    Location:
    Point Waterfront Durban
    haha excellent
     
Recent Posts

Loading...
Similar Threads - English school answering Forum Date
to all poets and english boffens help please The Sump 15 May 2012
Afrikaans vs English poll The Sump 21 Aug 2011
profilux computers in english Technology 31 Mar 2009
English in the New South Africa Jokes 27 Nov 2008
Englishman, South African & Australian The Sump 27 Aug 2007
English Language The Sump 27 May 2007
old school Pumps and Waterflow 3 Aug 2016