Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'The Sump' started by seank, 11 Sep 2009.

  1. seank

    seank

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    Tried to find old threads of old Chuck, but to no avail. Lets all keep this "Chuck" thread interesting with some pics and humor:

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  3. seank

    seank Thread Starter

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  4. seank

    seank Thread Starter

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    :lol::lol:- I enjoyed some of these:

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  5. Tobes

    Tobes Retired Moderator

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    :lol::lol:

    Cool stuff Sean :thumbup:
     
  6. seank

    seank Thread Starter

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  7. seank

    seank Thread Starter

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    Type in Google:

    How to kill Chuck Norris and hit I'm feeling lucky button
     
  8. keyaam

    keyaam

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    :thumbup:
     
  9. riyadhessa

    riyadhessa

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    Sean you must be a fan...of him...
     
  10. seank

    seank Thread Starter

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    :lol::lol:
    This is funny- I cracked myself ....:lol:

    Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

    Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.


    Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.


    Chuck Norris used to beat the **** out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
     
  11. seank

    seank Thread Starter

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    Nah, not really a fan, but I needed a good laugh today. And Chuck supplied the laughs:lol:
     
  12. Mekaeel

    Mekaeel Moderator MASA Contributor

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    :lol: It changed my whole mood.
     
  13. Tobes

    Tobes Retired Moderator

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    Now that is funny - I cracked myself... need to close the cracks - where can I buy Chuck Norris putty?
     
  14. magman

    magman

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    When Chuck goes to sleep, he wears Schalk Burgers rugby shirt for Pyjamas, remember the Schalk jokes after the world cup.
     
  15. lIghty

    lIghty

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    Type "Find chuck norris" in google and click on the [I'm Feeling lucky] button...........
     
  16. FransSny

    FransSny

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    Had a bad day today with clients...this just made it 100 % better
     
  17. scubaninja

    scubaninja

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  18. scubaninja

    scubaninja

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    When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
    According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
    Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
    Once upon a time there was a magical kingdom. Then Chuck Norris came, and it wasnt so magical.
    Chuck Norris never misspells a word. If he does, he simply changes the spelling.
    Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
    Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
    Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
    Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
    On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
    Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

    When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
    Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
    Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
    M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
    Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
    Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
    Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.


    Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing. ???????


    The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
     
    Last edited: 21 Sep 2009
  19. FransSny

    FransSny

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  20. seank

    seank Thread Starter

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    lol, just read thru this again :lol:
     
  21. Tobes

    Tobes Retired Moderator

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    Yeah, also had a good laugh again :lol:
     
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