A Womans Points Reward System

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by FransSny, 6 Aug 2009.

  1. FransSny

    FransSny

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    In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

    Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.


    You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

    Here is a guide to the point system:


    SIMPLE DUTIES

    You make the bed (+1)

    You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)

    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)

    You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

    You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)

    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

    You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

    It's her pet (-10)


    SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

    You stay by her side the entire party (0)

    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
    buddy(-2)

    Named Tina (-4)

    Tina is a dancer (-6)

    Tina has silicon implants (-80)


    HER BIRTHDAY

    You take her out to dinner (0)

    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

    Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

    And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)

    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)


    A NIGHT OUT

    You take her to a movie (+2)

    You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

    You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

    You take her to a movie you like (-2)

    It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


    ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

    She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

    You hesitate in responding (-10)

    You reply, "Where?" (-35)

    Any other response (-20)


    COMMUNICATION

    When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

    You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

    You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

    She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
     
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  3. Nemos Janitor

    Nemos Janitor

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    Yup i showed this to my wife and now i have to make my own breakfast.
     
  4. scubaninja

    scubaninja

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    haha i have been suckered into one or two of those:) i think i was on a permanent negative:) thanks for this i think i will email this to a few ex's;)
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
  5. Jaak

    Jaak

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    I'm so not going to show the wife this one...;)
     
  6. Neil H

    Neil H Moderator MASA Contributor

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    i also showed the wife .... i also had to make my own breakfast !
     
  7. Andreas

    Andreas

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    Very good:lol:
     
  8. riyadhessa

    riyadhessa

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    Atleast you guys are making breakfast...:lol:
     
  9. Nemos Janitor

    Nemos Janitor

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    Nope i got embarrassed. Thought i would save some time and went to the Wimpy and had a country berkie. Grinned like Garfield till i found out my credit card had been removed and the R300.00 i had left over was gone.
     
  10. coral diver

    coral diver

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    I guess you man have not been maried that long, this is not a joke iT'S A S.O.P. OF A MARIED MAN LIFE
     
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