Discussion in 'Jokes' started by scubaninja, 26 Nov 2008.

  1. scubaninja


    Posts: 6,739
    20 Jul 2008
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    These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.
    Q: Does it ever get rainy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
    Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
    Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
    A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water...
    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a List of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? ( UK )
    A: What did your last slave die of?
    Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA )
    A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not.... Oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
    Q: Which direction is North in South Africa ? ( USA )
    A: Face South and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
    Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
    Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
    A: No, WE don't stink, because we wash daily.
    Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population Is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
    Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
    A: Only at Christmas.
    Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
    A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
    Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegetarian hunter- gatherers. Milk is illegal.
    Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
    A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
    Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
    A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
    Last edited: 26 Nov 2008
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  3. Warr7207


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  5. keyaam


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    Cape Town

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