Discussion in 'The Sump' started by palmerc, 24 Jul 2007.

  1. palmerc


    Posts: 642
    12 May 2007
    Likes Received:
    Edenvale, Johannesburg

    Specially for WAYNAN

    Engineers - Take One

    Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
    Where did you get such a great bike?"
    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
    minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
    She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
    "Take what you want."
    "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
    probably wouldn't have fit."

    Understanding Engineers - Take Two
    To the optimist, the glass is half full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Three
    A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
    particularly slow group of golfers.
    The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting
    for 15 minutes!"
    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
    The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
    with him."
    Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
    slow, aren't they?"
    The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
    They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
    always let them play for free anytime."
    The group was silent for a moment.
    The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
    for them tonight."
    The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
    ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
    The engineer said,
    "Why can't these guys play at night?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Four
    What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
    Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Five
    The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Six
    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
    possible designers of the human body.
    One said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
    Just look at all the joints."
    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
    The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. "
    The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer.
    Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational

    Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
    features yet.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
    An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
    better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
    The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
    foundation for an enduring relationship.
    The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion
    and mystery he found there.
    The engineer said, "I like both."
    "Both? " enquired the others.
    The engineer replied; "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they
    will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you
    can go to the lab and get some work done."

    Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
    An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
    and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
    He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
    >>>>>The frog spoke up again andsaid,
    "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
    stay with you for one week."
    The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
    returned it to the pocket.
    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
    princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
    Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
    into his pocket.
    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
    I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you
    for a week and do anything you want.
    Why won't you kiss me?"
    The engineer said,
    "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a
    talking frog, now that's cool."


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  3. Tom


    Posts: 1,310
    12 May 2007
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    Port Elizabeth

    :lol::lol: Haha!! Great one!
    What does a Technician do with a new appliance?
    He strips it to see what its made of.
    Then modifies it and puts it together.
    Then starts looking for the manual when it does not work ;)
  4. Copperband


    Posts: 842
    7 May 2007
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    where does one get a talking frog?
  5. viper357

    viper357 Admin MASA Contributor

    Posts: 27,850
    4 May 2007
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    I'm sure if you kiss phat he will turn into a frog, only problem is the bloody thing will never stop talking
  6. phat


    Posts: 745
    6 May 2007
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    the slums

    dude last time you wanted to kiss me rory got jealous, we wouldn't want a repeat of rory loosing it again
  7. Hill


    Posts: 1,473
    8 May 2007
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    As long as he doesn't croak.........
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